To Know Thyself Is The Hardest Lesson Of All

[JaeyCiee] See? Nobody supported :D

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Last Thursday, during free period, which I was supposed to be using to study Sejarah, me, Chee Leng & Xian Ren began to talk. On humans and how selfish and useless each and everyone of them are.

Then everyone agreed, that Zhen Hong was the only person we've met who isn't selfish and all that. Well, not yet anyway :P Hehehhe.

Anyway, our talk went to how people around us try to change us until we can't recognise ourselves anymore. And we just can't be ourselves.

And then I just realised something ... On that day, when the PMR results came out, and I saw I got straight A's, I wasn't happy. I was actually feeling RELIEVED.

Mind you, happy and relieved aren't the same thing. Happy is that, I'm happy with my achievements. But that wasn't what I was feeling.

I was RELIEVED. Why relieved?

Because I was afraid that I would let my parents, Mae Yuen & Hwei Hwei down. My classmates not really, 'cause I think they most probably wouldn't want me -or anyone other than themselves for that matter- to get straight A's.

But I know Mae Yuen & Hwei Hwei sincerely wanted me to get straight A's. When Mae Yuen posted something on or private blog before PMR, I felt really really touched. And also the way Hwei Hwei encouraged me, helped me, everything.

And so I studied so damn freakin' hard, not for myself, but for my parents, for Mae Yuen & for Hwei Hwei, and my tuition teacher, Mrs Lim, of course.

I mean, come on!!! So what if you got straight A's?!?! People expect more of you, and then when you don't do what you expect, they will NAG NAG NAG. ==" So I told Zhen Hong that I kinda hope I won't get straight A's for SPM -not that I am positive I would-, I would be happy if I get A for the core subjects and B's for the others (:

But then people would go, "Why your UPSR and PMR get straight A's but your SPM like that?!"

I think I might look at them and say, "Eh, you think very easy ace your SPM? You go and ace let me see lah."

or

"Your problem izzit?"

or to be polite,

"UPSR & PMR easy, but SPM too hard. I don't like."

:D

People always say you should study not for your parents, but for yourselves. BULLSHYT.

If not for my parents, I wouldn't give a shyt for my studies okayyy!! I'm not the studios type, mind you. I HATE studying. I'd rather stay home, sleep, eat, play maple, or work for that matter!!!

Not everybody hates studying. They're not actually called nerds. They just might be our future ruler or something :) Or inventor of some ... things ... that doesn't pollute stuffs :D [i hope]

-MaNdY-